3 things holding me back…

Weaknesses- we all have them.

Often we focus on them more than our strengths. This makes sense given that often there is a very fine line between them being positive traits and, shall we say, not so great.

Astrologically , our weaknesses are usually the shadow of our Sun.

Take me, for example- after all, this post is all about me… I’m a Pisces, so my strengths are ones that are associated with the best that my Pisces Sun can be. My weaknesses are the opposite- straying into the dark-side of the Pisces Sun, but the potential is there to turn them into something that I can use.

Boundaries.

I have none. This, unfortunately, drifts into portion size. I seriously, often, do not know when to stop. I can only control this by physically erecting boundaries- eating out of smaller plates, cooking only exactly what I need.

This whole business of making for leftovers? Not a good idea. Unless it can be packaged up immediately ie not when it cools, not when it rests, the likelihood is that it will end up on my plate.

Hubby used to buy me bags of nuts to snack on at work. Just have a couple a day, he’d say. Nope. Unless I physically portion them up and take only that portion, they’ll all go without me noticing.

All I can say is thank goodness I don’t like biscuits, chocolates etc.

On the up side, when you don’t have boundaries there is nothing stopping you. There is absolutely nothing that I can’t achieve if I want to. It’s only when I stop and think about it that I fall into trouble.

Up until a couple of seasons ago, Biggest Loser Australia used to publish the birth dates of the contestants. I remember looking at the charts for all of them very early on and predicting that Bob would win. Not because he was putting in the work- on the contrary at that stage he was trying to escape it- but because he was a Pisces and it simply didn’t occur to him that he would fail.

The concept of escape brings me neatly to my next point:

Escape Artist

I am one.

Us fishies are slippery little suckers. Every tried catching one with your hands?

We have a tendency to escape from the things we don’t want to know about or deal with.  Unfortunately, that escape can be into something that can easily bring us undone- alcohol, food, other substances. Most Pisces, depending on how much Pisces they have in their chart, have addictive personalities- and that means we also attract our fair share of addictees or emotional vampires. As my hubby says, “all aboard the gypsy pity wagon!”

I have always half joked that I go from one addiction to another. The tendency in itself is unhealthy and unbalanced and all with the end goal of allowing me to escape something. The trick is actually using that tendency to escape for good rather than evil.

Meditation for Pisceans is essential. It encourages mindfulness- something we have problems with. Again, I don’t walk the talk.

Up until wrecking my shoulder boxing a few years ago, I swam regularly. Not for the exercise so much (I’ve swum all my life, it doesn’t feel like exercise) but for the black line therapy. Swimming up and down that black line was like meditation. It took me outside of myself and my physical body boundaries into something where I was, but at the same time wasn’t.

It’s that effect that we look for when we try and dull our pain and senses with food and alcohol…or something else. Yet swimming did it for me. When I stop is when the trouble starts…which is why I’ll be getting back into that pool now my shoulder is (I hope) recovered.

I almost got there with running. I liked the idea of running because it felt like escape, running away. And I wanted to run away.

I started learning to run last year and it seemed every time I made some headway something, usually an injury, would send me back to the start. First there was my ankles. I have fishie ankles. It’s like my feet are attached to the bottom of my legs by rubber bands. I’ve always been very flexible, but this much flexibility, apparently, is not good when it comes to running.

So I got expensive orthotics.

Then it was the hips. My chiropractor would put them back in each week, tutt tutting as he told me that my back and body structure was not that of a runner… (cue air raid sirens- boundary alert!). More pain and more expense. And for what? So I could try and run? And always, always were the shin splints, just waiting for me to put on a kilo (or two- usually after an injury enforced absence) before raising their head.

I began alternating between seeing the injuries as boundaries to be dissolved and excuses to stop something (escape from it) that I really didn’t like doing. I was so over the pain and the expense.

But there in the distance was the idea that if I could just get over that magical 5kms (another boundary) then I could get that runners “high” that I was chasing. I was convinced that was an addiction that would be good for me.

This winter has been much the same. Start. Shin splints, head cold, asthma, head cold, asthma, start, shin splints, head cold. Repeat. I’m beginning to think I’m addicted to starting the C25k program…

But the thing is, I can visualise myself running (another Piscean form of escape that can be used for good). So far in my vision I’m still running away from something rather than toward a finish line, but we’re getting there.

Unfocused

This ties in to the first two.

I tend to scatter my energy madly- obsessing briefly over one thing or another before moving on and obsessing over that. In doing so I lose focus very quickly of what my commitments and goals (both of which are like boundaries) actually are.

As much as I fight it, routine (another set of boundaries) is essential. Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) know this instinctively. I do not.

Another thing I don’t do are details. I’m not into the journey- I just want to arrive. I’m a buy the ticket, get on the plane, watch the movie, eat the food and wow you’re in a different country type of girl.

Yet, details matter. So, I try and get the pre-planning done and let routine take care of it from there.

Attaching emotionally to the goal works for me. As does keeping it front and centre where I can’t lose sight of it. It’s like erecting a metaphorical boundary to keep me within scope- like I used to do with project plans.

Phew!

This was a lot more words than I intended, but sort of cathartic with it. Would love to hear about your weaknesses now…

Advertisements


Categories: Moon, My Journey

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

4 replies

  1. WOW! Im a pisces too and everything you said made so much sense to me.

  2. you’d probably share my strengths too… 🙂

  3. Great post – would be keen to hear the traights for an Aquarian 🙂

    I’m like you when it comes to limiting myself to only a couple. I’d eat the whole bag of nuts too. I generally tried to avoid buying biscuits – and if I got a 2 pack chocolate bar the 2nd wouldn’t last until later like I had “planned” 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

from flab to fab

The hungry writer gets fabulous...

Eagar Kitchen Concoctions

The 'Half Blood' Princess Project

Lauren Keegan Writer

Writer. Reader. Psychologist.

Navigator

the hungry writer makes a sea-change...

Completely Wanderlust

Adventure Travel Blog

Ms. Wordopolis Reads

Eclectic reader fond of crime novels

The Track To Milford

and other rambles...

Angela Savage

Author Website

andanyways.wordpress.com/

the rambles of a hungry writer

Monique Hall

author of small-town contemporary romance - stories of hope, acceptance, belonging

Aotea Media

Photography | Promotion | Social Media | Creative Concepts | Graphic Design | Slideshow | Marketing | Video production | Video Marketing

Nick Earls

author etc

Sarah Wilson

Stars and Scales

Nourished Kitchen

Reviving Traditional Foods

nicekiwiblog

Our Melbourne Adventure

twistyrobdesigns

Ramblings of a mixed media artist.

%d bloggers like this: