I’ve been thinking a lot about de-cluttering lately. It tends to happen when the Sun is in the sign of Virgo. Spring cleaning for us here in the Southern Hemisphere, harvest time in the north.
Virgo, you see, at its highest level is about the constant search for self improvement, perfection, everything in its place organisation. Note that I said Virgo, not Virgos- not all Virgos are clean freaks…despite what the textbooks say.
In the body, Virgo rules digestion- that process where the body critically examines just what we have put into it and decides where that nutrient (or non nutrient) will be best put to service. The waste is then directed for elimination- for want of a better term.
Scorpio and the planet Pluto rule the process of elimination.
The thing is, when we don’t get rid of what isn’t doing us good, it hangs around, it blocks us up, it prevents us from moving freely forward. A sort of metaphysical constipation I guess.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot of late too.
After yesterdays mini break-down (emotionally and physically- OMG my shins are still burning!) I made a phone call to my BMF. After a long conversation he brought up the elephant in the room:
‘You know what you have to do. You really want it. But I honestly don’t think that you think that you deserve it.’
There it was. But he hadn’t finished.
‘You and I both know that you’re being mean to yourself and punishing yourself. It’s time to let that go, it’s time to let the guilt go. It’s time to let the diet go. It’s time to cut the crap.’
He’s right. I spend my days setting my expectations and standards for myself so fricken high that all I am doing is setting myself up to fail- which, of course, reinforces the self loathing. I pass no judgement on others, yet mound it up on top of myself. Layer of shit on top of layer of shit. In my heart, I really don’t believe that I’m worth it.
‘You are worth it,’ he said. ‘I don’t care what weight you are, I just know that you are happier and more creative when you aren’t weighed down with all the shit you put on yourself.’
As he pointed out, I don’t eat or drink anything with sugar- I don’t like the after taste. Well, except wine- we know about that. My issue is and always has been boundaries. I will eat way too much of good things. I simply don’t know when to stop.
‘So here’s a new idea,’ he said, ‘why don’t you try actively not dieting. Don’t cut anything out. Have your wine, but mix it with soda so one glass is like two. Tell your husband to dish your meal on a smaller plate. Don’t set yourself up to fail.’
It was a timely message.
Shortly after I shared some tears on the phone with my BFF on the other side of the country. She’s in the same boat. She, however, is a Cancer Rising, so she holds the emotional weight of everyone else around her. It literally weighs her down- this is very typical of Cancer Ascendants. She wants to eliminate the emotional clutter from her life too.
So, we’ve made a commitment to cut the crap together.
Pluto is now in a great position to assist with that effort- if you are prepared to be honest and ready to re-claim your power. It’s sort of like a dose of cosmic fibre.
What’s weighing you down?